God already knew – I’m home.

It is with a saddened heart that I share this news. Right now, I am sitting in the airport in Guatemala City about to board our flight home six weeks early. By the time you read this I will be back in the States. Our race has unexpectedly and quite abruptly come to an end. Adventures in Missions has been closely monitoring all missionaries from around the world since media released information about the Corona Virus that began in China. What started out as hardly being a threat for us here in Central America quickly blew up practically overnight. While there are only 2 known cases of Corona in Guatemala, Adventures has needed to monitor not only health risks, but also the risks of border closures. As of Friday night, my squad was third tier of priority of all of the teams around the world, meaning that we were in the safest group. There was no immediate threat to get us out of the country and take further action to bring us home. While the board and staff at Adventure’s were constantly keeping watch on all of the teams, their main focus was getting missionaries with the highest risk to a place of safety first. Friday night, it was looking like we were going to be finishing our race, so Saturday we woke up and drove to our new ministry: YWAM Guate City! We unpacked everything in our ROOMS, settled into BEDS, ate dinner and sat through our first orientation for the ministry. I was more than thrilled, YWAM & Guatemala was the part of the race I was most looking forward to! It was after dinner that we were told the news of how quickly events had changed overnight. Adventures in Missions, after much prayer and deliberation, has decided to call all missionaries from 11n11, Gap Year, and Semesters from around the world off of the field and put us on flights home as soon as possible. The threat for us was not so much getting the virus as it was chancing getting stuck here in Guatemala if the US were to close their borders for entry, or Guatemala, their borders for exit. As much as this stinks, I am still able to see the Lord’s hand in it all. We got an email yesterday afternoon from the US Embassy here saying that Guatemala is closing their borders for exit for US residents tonight at midnight. Our flight is less than 12 hours before we would be stuck here for who knows how long. 

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It’s hard for me to process that our race has been cut in half. It’s hard to understand why God, who clearly called me here, has now called me home. & honestly, home is the last place that I want to be right now. My heart is with these countries and the work that I see the Lord doing in each place. My heart is to serve overseas, at least for right now. My heart is to be with Rachel and Kriese and Matt and Mackenzie and Emily and Jeremy and John and Alex. My heart is breaking that I have to say goodbye to not only this beautiful country and the ministry here, but also to my newfound family who in a few days, will be spread all over the country. I am grieving the loss of this community so much sooner than I ever thought that I would have to. 

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Upon receiving the news, my team took our heartache to the Lord in worship, because even when things don’t go the way we’d like them to or even the way that we thought they would, He is still in control, and He’s still good. Even when we can’t see it, He’s working. As much as we hate to be coming home, we recognize that home is exactly where He needs us right now. He knew that this trip would be cut short before I even knew I was going, and I’m choosing to find comfort in that.

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Over the last six weeks, the Lord has been showing me lots about my fear. He’s showing me to speak it out loud (the enemy has much less power once we speak the lies), He’s given me the ability to recognize when it’s trying to sneak in my life, the capability to do things regardless of my fear, and has helped me grow past them. He’s shown me a lot about His character, and His relentless pursuit of every single person that I pass by. I was so excited to walk out in faith for the next six weeks and be the Lord’s vessel in Guatemala. 

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It’s honestly been so weird to be in another country with everything that’s been going on in the States. We hear about the craziness of life at home right now, and it’s so weird because it’s been like watching a movie. We hear and see everything that’s going on, but we’ve honestly been utterly unaffected by it. Everything has been normal here, it’s peaceful, the people aren’t freaking out or dealing with crippling fear over this sickness. It’s funny how the Lord teaches me about fear for a little while, and then sends me back home to the fearful world that’s waiting in the States to hopefully be a peacemaker there. 

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This isn’t where I thought I’d be, and it’s definitely not where I want to be. Being His servant though, means that it’s not about me. So here I am, home. Kicking and screaming – that is – but I’m home, and I’m ready to be used in whatever way my Lord sees fit. Being a missionary starts at home, and in the midst of the broken-heartedness that I am currently experiencing, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to continue to live on mission, in the States for the next six weeks, and after that wherever the Lord leads for the rest of my life. Above it all, in the midst of all the change and disappointment, I find my rest in worshiping the One who remains. 
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Please keep my team and I in your prayers in the coming days as we transition back home six weeks earlier than we intended to and adjust once again to the life that awaits us. 

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All my love, 

Meg