fear is stupid & i love community

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 

– 2 Tim. 1:7 

I am NOT safe. 

You’re probably wondering what that even means, so i’ll explain.

I’M A SCAREDY-CAT. Not even regarding anything in particular, just e v e r y t h i n g in general. Even as a kid, (and you can ask anyone this and they’d testify) I was scared of literally everything. Wanna take cute pics in a flower field? Sure, but not without me pitching a fit because I was positive that a snake was going to bite me (I have pics of that meltdown hahah). Have to run into the store real quick? That’s fine, but i’m coming too, because I know there’s a kidnapper just waiting to bust out the car window and steal me. Honestly, and this is a little embarrassing to admit lol, but even now this crippling fear is still very real. I can’t tell you how many times (this is the embarrassing part) I have pulled up to the gas station to get gas as a wholeee adult….andddd left without it bc something was “sketch” about being there. Or the number of times i’ve been driving alone at night and when a car pulls out behind me on the highway, I’ve slowed down to approx. 22 MPH so that the car will pass me, proving that I wasn’t going to be the murderer driving’s next target that he would follow home and kill. Sounds ridiculous, I know!! but its all because of this paralyzing fear that seeks to control me (and often succeeds) by convincing me that I am not safe, when the reality is that there is no REAL threat at all. 

“I am not safe” is a lie that I have subconsciously believed my entire life, as I have found something to fear in just about every situation that I am in. 

There are other fears, though, that are a little less crazy (and a little more realistic *insert awkward emoji*) that maybe a few more of you can resonate with such as fearing shots, fearing rejection, fearing a bad doctors report, fearing the unknown or fearing the results of a college exam, that all still carry the same weight. 

One of my new friends (The Lord has been SOO gracious in the past two weeks by giving me the desires of my heart: a community of believers – more on that later 😉 brought to my attention today that fear and anxiety, which is something I have recently learned that i’ve been dealing with my entire life is actually a spirit. This explains why it has followed me everywhere I have gone, all of my eighteen years of living. It is something that will continue to keep me in bondage as long as I allow it to. (what?! where has this been all my life?????)

Ya see, the Bible talks about how as Christians, even the spirits are subjected to us – now we aren’t to find our joy here, but “rather that (our) names (are) written in the heavens” (Luke 10:20)- BUT if the enemy is having a field day in any area of our lives, we 100000% have been given the authority to rain on his parade and KICK!!! HIM!!!! OUT!!!! 

To all of my girlies and guys out there that struggle with fear and anxiety, know that we cannot experience the true and COMPLETE freedom that the Lord desires for us to live in as long as we allow these things to control us. 

& it’s a process (what is it with me & Jesus & processes?) – I had to get shots the other day for the race and i’ll be the first to tell you the enemy almost won that battle – except he didn’t. While the Lord is working with me on kicking fear the heck out of my life, I have been learning that even if I’m fearing a situation I can still cause the enemy to lose his grip on me by being SCARED AND DOING IT ANYWAY (ha, there’s a curve ball for ya, devil – this is new, i know). 

bc fear isn’t innocent. Fear is the opposite of trust, which means that when i’m fearing I am not trusting the Lord and His perfect plan for my life. It is sin at the least and even that’s a big deal (big enough of a deal to put Jesus on that cross). But even more than fear being a sin, it’s the very thing that the enemy uses to keep us from stepping into our callings. I mentioned that fear is paralyzing, and i don’t believe that is a coincidence, but a tactic. See, the Lord is always calling us deeper but the deeper He calls us the more the enemy wants to stop us aka the more he inserts fear into our lives. 

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I heard someone say a while back – and it stuck with me – that she prayed for something, but then she corrected herself and said that she didn’t actually pray, rather she DESIRED something, and the Lord gifted it to her. Hearing that made me stop and think about the weight of those words. 

DESIRE: a strong feeling of wanting something to happen. 

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

This might mess with your theology at first ’cause it did mine, too, but hear me out before thinking that I’m saying God is a genie in a bottle, because the first part of the verse is just as important as the latter. The first part of that verse provides the restrictions for the part where, at first glance, we think God gives us whatever the heck we want. 

When we delight ourselves in the Lord, are actively seeking Him and are in close communion with Him, – get this – HIS DESIRES BECOME OUR DESIRES!!!! (whaaaaatttt?!)

I didn’t pray for – but I did desire – a community. Ever since my best friend left for college, I’ve felt kind of lost because my person to waste gas and worship in the car with and talk about Jesus with was no longer 20 minutes away, but 5 long hours from me. I was longing for a group of friends/mentors that I could do life with, but also talk about and seek the Lord with, but also grow with, but also have fun with, but also step into my calling with. Before I knew it, I gained a wholeee!!!! bunch!!! of people all within like a week and a half that are in love with the Lord and are striving to be more like Him. We are talking like these people have been reaching out to me, not the other way around, inviting me to bible studies and worship nights and hang outs, and you can’t convince me that that’s anything. but. God. HE’S JUST THAT GOOD, PEOPLE!!! and He knows what we need before we even ask, or in my case, even if we never ask Him. 

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These past couple of weeks I have been (the best kind of) overwhelmed and really just in awe of how good the God we serve truly is. He has been teaching me that I don’t have to live bound by fear, but rather that it’s a choice I get to make every day to bind that spirit so that I can fully abide in the freedom that He offers. He has been teaching me that He cares. He cares about my desires, because (hopefully) they are actually His desires. And He is teaching me that sometimes, just sometimes, a friend (or a couple friends;) is all you need (don’t worry, I’m counting Jesus as one of those friends;). 

For all of my friends that are ready to KICK FEAR IN THE FACE (isn’t that like some slogan? idk), here’s a lil playlist about how stupid fear is and how good God is that will hopefully provide some encouragement as you begin this journey of becoming fearless for the Lord, with the Lord. 😉

– Prophesy Your Promise (Bryan and Katie Torwalt) *cue the bridge “fear can go to helllllll, shame can go there toooooo, I know whose I am, God I belonggggg to youuuu”*

– I’ll Give Thanks (Housefires, Kirby Kaple)

– P E A C E (Hillsong Young & Free)

– No Fear in Love (Bethel, Steffany Gretzinger)

– You Make Me Brave (Bethel, Amanda Cook)

– Rest in You (All Sons & Daughters)

– This Love (Housefires)

(p.s. If you’re one of those people who I talked about reaching out and making me feel welcome, you’re so appreciated and ily already)

So much love, 

Meg